The battle of health compromization has a unique list of casualties, the most recent being a trip that was planned with a great group of guys to the the Pac 10 Championships of Wrestling in Corvallis, OR. Most of you know that Corvallis is my hometown and almost more so than the wrestling, I was looking forward to playing host to our coaching staff and several Squalicum wrestlers along for the trip.



As the trip approached and plans were solidified, the wiser half of our household leadership committee (Kelly) brought to my attention some factors that I was aware of but had chosen to ignore for the sake of really wanting to go on the trip. Factors such as 6 hours on the road, sleeping in hotel rooms, still nursing a cold, fresh off a platelet transfusion on Wed., and the possibility of needing red cells before the weekend built a strong case toward staying at home for the weekend. I reported to the committee that all points were valid and that I would need the next day to mourn the loss of the trip and be ready to move forward by days end...the committed agreed.



Now back in the saddle, after a weekend of REST at HOME, I am ready for a full week of work and am grateful for the love and support of those closest to me that absolutely have my best in mind. I heard the weekend in Corvallis was unbelievable, especially the Huli-Huli chicken from Local Boyz Hawaiian Cafe but I couldn't have been happier resting at home with the family.



As mentioned earlier, I did have to receive platelets on Wed. night when the count dropped to 6000. The red cells had also fallen but I was not feeling symptomatic so we decided to hold off and get drawn again on Friday. I had already began to make plans to be in the hospital on Saturday morning to receive another transfusion. Expecting the worst, I logged onto my hospital patient account and read that the Hemoglobin had gone from 5.4 to 6.0 and the Hematocrit was up to 18.2 from 16. Remember that these counts are still critically low and most people can't walk with these numbers, but if I am not getting blood at 5.4 then I'm certainly not getting it at 6.0. We celebrated mediocrity that night as a family by going out to mexican food.



I will get another blood draw Tuesday morning in an effort to stay on top of what are still very critical counts. We are constantly praying and hoping for stability first and growth second. The meds are still not showing much progress, however my kidneys seem to be doing better and better at allowing the higher doses to process in my body. It will take sustained higher doses of meds to get things turned around and even then it will be slow. Continued prayer for progress and patience is appreciated.



Kelly and I are starting to do more research in the areas of Aplastic Anemia and PNH and we are learning that there are treatment options that might be worth looking into in the future. Without getting into too much detail, there are doctors across the country that specialize in these particular diseases and have treatment protocols that we have only been made aware of recently. We are starting the process of arranging consultations with these doctors to see if there are new stones to overturn.



I can't thank all of you enough for your continued prayer and support. It has been difficult but God is using each and every one of you to lift up me and my family and allow us to endure through this season. God Bless!



Brian

Uncertainty and lack of progress still plague my increasingly busy schedule. Friday morning (Feb. 11) I had a blood draw that showed that my Hemoglobin and Hematocrit had fallen to 5.6 and 17.0, both of which are critically low. I decided to get the ball rolling myself by calling two doctors, scheduling a blood transfusion to help me feel as good as I could feel, all things considered. I literally did everything in my power to make sure I would get "plugged in" as soon as possible, which meant I had to cancel our middle school wrestling practice to get to the hospital in the afternoon once my teaching obligations were met.

So, ready with about 5 hours of time killers to get through the transfusion, I showed up at the hospital at my scheduled time of 3 pm. Admitted, in a hospital room, and happily reading ESPN the Magazine, my nurse comes in and informs me that my blood (which of course is almost as rare as my running list of conditions) has yet to be driven from SEATTLE and the soonest it would be here is 5 pm. Are you kidding me?

Knowing that a 5 pm start time may or may not get me a hospital tray upon my return, I decided to give in to mounting week long craving for a Boomers burger. If I couldn't refuel my system then I would at least refuel my stomach. It's amazing how much one can find peace of mind over a Boomers burger, waffle fries, an Oreo shake, and a copy of the Echo Ads.

Before leaving the hospital, the nurse and I agreed I would just show up closer to 6 unless I heard from him otherwise, and a call to my cell phone at 5:30 confirmed that the blood was not ready yet and there was no point in coming in earlier. However, I was out and about and listless so I went to the hospital anyway to just check in and visit Kelly who works only one floor above. As I'm walking into the hospital lobby, the nurse blows up my phone to inform me that the blood would not leave Seattle until 8 pm and would be arriving no later than 10. At this point my heart just sunk in my chest and my frustration was overwhelming. Did they know what my numbers were? Did they know I had somewhere to be tomorrow? Did they know the unit closes at 11:30 pm and I would have to be admitted overnight to get the blood now? I was ready to drive to Seattle myself, not to get the blood but to unload on the incompetent employees of the Puget Sound Blood Bank that were slowing my life down.

Here I pause. My condition should slow my life down. I should be "taking it easy." The schedule I run and the energy with which I run it is unnatural considering my current condition. All I can say is that I can't help it. I thrive on the passion with which I teach and coach. I feel energized getting up early in the morning, putting on a pressed shirt and tie, and working with middle school students all day. I receive a second wind walking to the locker room to get ready for wrestling practice or during the 15 minute drive to Squalicum to work with the Storm wrestlers. One of the reasons I wanted the blood Friday night was so that I could be recharged and ready for the girls regional wrestling tournnament at Sedro-Woolley High School on Saturday (where one of our girls took 3rd and qualified for the state tournament...GO STORM!).

The decision was made to schedule the transfusion for Sunday morning at 9 am when the blood would be ready, I would be rested, and there would be no further scheduling conflicts.

And that is where this blog finds me...sitting at the keyboard of a Dell net-book, washing down graham crackers and peanut butter with grape juice (hospital staples), watching NASCAR qualifying for next week's Daytona 500, and receiving 2 units of much needed red blood cells.

I describe the source of my daily energy as "Hybrid like," but without the battery. I always feel like I have the energy to do what I want and need to do in my daily life. There is no other explanation for this sustained energy than God given. Forgive me for any cliches that may sneak in here, but in my mind there is only one explanation for my ability to carry on. My physical and mental strength is being upheld and sustained by God almighty, who has my best in mind, loves me more than anything in the world, gave is son for me that I might have life in this life and the life to come.

I am absolutely hooked on Zac Brown Band right now. The song "Let It Go" provides anthem-like lyrics for me as listen:

Keep your heart above your head and your eyes wide open
so this world can't find a way to leave you cold

You know you're not the only ship out on the ocean

Save your strength for things that you can change
forget the ones you can't
You gotta let it go!

It makes it easy to let it go in the hands of the Almighty!

This week has been one of the sweetest weeks of my professional career. From the moment my students walked into the classroom, I felt like I was home again. All the confidence and assurance of choosing the right career for myself came flooding back in an instant as I found myself greeting, talking with, helping, and even bantering with students again. Of course each day brought a moderate stress load of prep and planning, but I was able to manage.

The staff at Shuksan was amazing in welcoming me back and checking on me daily to make sure I was maintaining energy levels and making sure I had everything I needed for the four different subjects I am now teaching. I found it so easy to tell them that teaching was giving me more life than it was taking and I was so glad to be back.

The most difficult part of this week physically has been managing sleep. As I have said before, high doses of different meds affect sleeping and waking at inopportune times, waking me up too early or not letting me go to sleep soon enough. In spite of this, I have felt well rested this week and God has been faithful in allowing me the rest if not the sleep quota I set for myself each night.

I am now getting blood draws once a week to maintain progress and the most recent draw (Tues. Feb. 2) continues to show stability and even moderate improvement:

Hemoglobin: 7.0

Hematocrit: 20.6

Platelets: 10,000

Other counts that we are looking at closely are kidney and liver processing levels. Some of these counts have started to rise above what is safe and acceptable so we are adjusting doses of certain meds to keep those under control. It is a fine balancing act between giving my blood what it needs and not overwhelming my organs with toxicity. Please pray that the organs can handle the necessary doses of meds to sustain my improved counts.

I continue to take daily meds for my Aplastic Anemia and I visit the infusion center for an IV drug once every two weeks to treat the PNH disease. There are moments where I feel so dependent, but I am grateful for the modern medicines that allow me to function as I am. God is faithful in so many ways.